«5/17/50 Writ­ing, of course, is a sub­sti­tute for the life I can­not live, am unable to live. All life, to me, is a search for the bal­anced diet, which does not exist. For me. Alas, I am twen­­ty-nine, and I can­not stand more than five days of the life I have invent­ed as the most ideal.» …